News

Now I can shout it to the rooftops!!! I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!! I was 3 weeks pregnant when that doc said I couldn't have kids. God gave us a miracle!!! Anyway, I'm 7 weeks and 5 days along. :-) They did an ultrasound so I saw his lillte heart beating. I'm a high risk pregnancy. Please pray for my little one - that he will grow and be safe! I am so thrilled. The due date is November 12th. :-D Can you believe it??!!! I still can't. lol It was bad there for awhile. I had to go to the ER a week and a half ago for dehydration and low potassium. They put me on nausea meds every three hours so my gastroparesis wouldn't act up so bad again. I DO NOT have any weight to spare.

In June, I will find out if it's a boy or a girl. SO exciting..... :-)

I need to go to the store some time today and get a few things we need. My mom is coming here next week b/c Ben will be going to JRTC next Monday. He'll be gone for 3 weeks. That's about it.

Long Time

No long no post, but I've been really sick. I even had to go to the ER. So not fun. I feel a tad better, but what I need most right now is SLEEP. Sigh. Maybe tonight. :-)

We had some crazy storms over the weekend. The weather went from 70s to mid 30s. Craziness. Just like Texas weather, though. I think that was thr first day of spring, too. lol

I really don't have much to say, but thought I should let you all know I'm still alive. :-) I hate being sick. But I found a lot of cartoons to watch on youtube. :-D I'm going to watch some tonight. I love cartoons!!! Always have always will.

Oh, I'm upset that healthcare passed. It's going to be even worse now.

Sick, Story, and Store - Alliteration! ;-)

Well, I have been feeling sick. Yesterday was another beautiful day! Thank God for that! :-) My head was killing me and is still killing me today. I was tempted to take Tylenol, but my stomach was feeling yuck so I opted against more meds. But part of me was like I need something! lol I didn't succumb because I figured I would feel worse in the long run.

I reviewed my third book yesterday on my other blog. I think I should review them on this blog, though. I'm going to try to change my blog name. That way my family won't be like what is going on??? Where are Ben and Maria? This is weird.... lol Hmmm Maybe I should leave it. ;-)

I'm going to go to HEB and maybe Target today. I need to get some rice bread, diet sodas, and some all- natural gummies. I don't have a long list. I might get some ground hamburger, too. Not sure what I will be making this week. I know I'm making white chicken chili tonight, but that's the extent of my knowledge. I just haven't felt like writing out menus. I think I'll just scrunge around in my freezer and pantry this week. As long as I get bacon, sausage, and hamburger I should be okay. Did you just see my list get longer??? NOOoooo..... lol The life of a housewife. Sigh. I love it, though. Truly. I just wish I felt well enough to enjoy it right now.

Ben leaves in 3 weeks to go to JRTC again, and I want to have fun with him. So I need to feel better! There is a cartoon that comes out on the 26th that I want to see. It's about dragons. I love dragon movies, and I love cartoons. A perfect combo. :-)

The other thing on my to do list is: WRITE MY LAST STORY FOR SCHOOL! I need to sit down and write ideas down and figure out my mystery. I have to place the clues throughout the story. Not too easy to spot and not too hard to spot. Sounds impossible to me. But I'm up for the challenge. I think.....

I'm off to the store.

Sunny Day

Today was a brilliantly sunny day! We usually get lots of clouds or rain on the weekends. Don't know why, but it seems like a Texas thing. lol It took me a long time to wake up. I mean, I was up just not with it. lol But I woke up at one. That's when I took Kaylee on a walk. The sun was high in the sky just smiling down at me, giving me all the warmth it could. I gladly accepted it! I accepted it so much that I put summer clothes on and sunscreen so I age well (LOL), and sat in the swing reading. Ah, bliss. :-)

But I've been having more pain from my GP. It could be from my j-tube formula, but all I know is I don't like moving out of my fetal position.

I thank God for a sunshiny day, though! It cheered me up no end. God always knows what we need that will help us. Even something you might consider small, is a gift from God. A gift to help you through the tough times. A sunny day is what I needed. Feeling the warmth as I sat on the swing. Reading outside. Brushing Kaylee with the sun kissing my cheeks and the wind whispering around me. Seeing Kaylee jump into the swing without me in it and seeing her swing wildly as she desperately hung on for dear life. Getting smacked in the knee when Kaylee jumped off when I was still getting situated in my power chair. Ben bringing me a drink outside. Goofing off as Deanna Durbin sang "It's Foolish But It's Fun". Making Ben laugh.

God gave me so much today. I pray I keep on remembering to be thankful when the times get tough. God has not forsaken me. God is with me through everything. God loves me no matter what I do. God loves me even though I don't deserve it. Thank you, God for all you do for me. I hope and pray that God shines through me onto the ones around me like the sun did on me today. :-)

The Day

What a day! The HOP (special tranist bus) picked me up at 6:30 a.m.! Yuck! Five hours later I was home. lol Crazy. So the driver had to pick up 2 other people before we even got on the way to the hospital. It was pretty much a typical GI appointment. I had to have some bloodwork done, and even with that I was done ahead of schedule. So I called the HOP to let them know, and the bus came in like 10 minutes. But he had to go in and check for others before we left. Then he had to go pick up two others and came back to the hospital to pick up somebody else who ended up not being ready yet. lol Finally, on the way home. I was the second one off! Yes! :-D Anyway, I got about 2/3 of the way through and am about finished with it. After I update my blog, I'm going to finish it then update my other blog with my review. It's so cool how you can get a book for free as long as you review it. It's especially good for me since it's hard to get to a library with so many doc appointments.

Oh, I met a potential friend while walking Kaylee. She leaves tomorrow for California and won't be back for two weeks so hopefully we won't forget each other by then! lol So we decided to meet on the walk in two weeks, and then we can exchange addresses. She has the sweetest little boy. He must be around 10-12 months old. He loved Kaylee. She also has an older son who I didn't get to meet. But anyway, her husband gets deployed in June. I wonder if she will be going home then. Hmmm Oh, well. That's the way it is in the army. You meet someone, and then they move. Sigh.

My house is cleaner! Always good news, but I still need to dust. After my book.... ;-) I'm not sure what to make for supper. I have 1/2 lb. of hamburger I need to use. I might do spaghetti. I'll see what Ben wants when he gets home. Oh, I could lasagna.... That's not a bad idea.... But I don't know if I have that much energy tonight because I got up so early. I'm even more drained than usual.

So far I haven't made any money with Google AdSense. No surprise since it can take up to a year, but that's only if you have enough traffic which I so do not have! lol

I'm signing off to finish reading my book! It's calling to me.... And reminding me I need to write my mystery for school. I've never written a mystery. Well, I have once when I was a kid. I hope and pray it's good! I want my last story to be well-written and entertaining. :-)

Reading - It's What I Do

I reviewed my first book today! All you have to do is post it on one of your blogs and another website like amazon.com or christainbook.com and you get the book for free! I read about John Bunyan. It so made me want to read Pilgrim's Progress again. I have three other books to read and review. (These three are all fiction.) Since I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, I'll have a lot of time to read.  It's 30 minutes away and I'm taking the handicap bus and they always pick me up ridiculously early!!! They will probably pick me up at 7 in the morning. Yuck.... Well, I can be independent so it's worth it. Besides I do have a book this time.

I need to clean up the coffe table. It's full of my art stuff. The dining table has a few things on it, too. I can't stand a mess! Drives me nuts. If I have enough energy I'll dust. Don't know, though since I just washed oodles of laundry and need to fold it.... That's enough to wear me out!

I don't know when I'll be able to paint my spring banner. I'm dying, too. It just seems I'm to tired lately. I did get some good news today! I'm going to get a second opinion about having kids. Because think about it. My GI said it's ok. My neuro said it's ok. Those other guys were nuts. But not only that. I might need to see a fertility doc because I'm having problems.... Serious problems that the docs need to fix. LIKE NOW!!! Man, the medical world makes me so mad! If they would stop and think about what it would be like they might be kinder. C'mon people. I keep on praying for a miracle. But I'm also praying I accept whatever happens. I need God's help to get through all this uncertainty. I need God in everything!

Ben and I have been going through Changed Into His Image. It's sermons on dvd based on Jim Berg's book. The book is great! The sermons are awesome! And I'm finally memorizing Bible verses! I have such a hard time memorizing, but I'm extremely thankful for his help to get me started. :-) I know I need God's Word to come into my mind whenever I'm going through something. Plus, I need to rein in my thoughts so that I think right. Not just think about how I'm feeling. Oh, that's another sermon kit my hubs and I are doing. It's Quieting A Noisy Soul. It is so helpful and informative. I thank God for Christian leaders to help us!!! And for friends who love me enough to let me borrow it. ;-)

I'm going to go read my Bible and Changed Into His Image outside in my swing. :-) It's such a beautiful day outside.

Another Handicap Story

My friend and I went to Ross today, and I found a couple of really cute dresses. One was kinda like a buttoned shirt dress without the buttons. It was coral, had some ruffly detail around the neck, and tied in the back. I'm not normally a ruffly person, but it went with the dress. The other dress was a buttoned shirt dress with a belt. It was red and looked so 50s. I couldn't decide which one I wanted, and if I even wanted to waste money on it. So after we looked around, we went to the dressing room where lo, and behold someone was in the handicap room. As usual.

Well, Charity decided to look and see if there was another handicap room. I said there is always only one, but we looked anyway. And guess what? There were at least 8 available rooms! So by that time I was getting annoyed. But then again we didn't know if the woman was handicapped or not. I don't think I've ever waited, and it has not been a walking person, though. Anyway, we waited and waited and waited, and I felt sicker and sicker. My nausea always likes to beat me. Just when I was going to give up, out she walks. Perfectly fine, I might add.

Now answer me this. Why do the attendants or store managers for that matter let women who aren't handicap in a handicap dressing room. When I walked, it was slowly and with a limp, and I would use the handicap room. Not always. But sometimes. But I've never seen (or rarely seen) someone limping or with a cane or in a wheelchair come out. It's just women or women with strollers. Sorry but when did women with children become handicap? New one on me.

I know there are people who need the handicap dressing room that you can't tell are ill. It just seems like they need to make more handicap rooms or make sure you need one before you take one. Sigh. Feeling lousy doesn't help either.

On the bright side, I did get the red dress. :-) I love it.

Nothing Much

Another bad nausea day. I'm ready for bed because I had to take my Phenergan. I managed to make Ben supper. Not sure how. Of course, I had to pick one that has to take chopped onions and bell peppers. So much more work. But Ben loved it. :-) So it was worth it.

I got a surprise box from my sister in heart. She sent me a soft, baby blue sweater, a cute book, and a book on how to make dollhouse miniatures!!! I'm so excited. I've been trying to get a dollhouse made for 4 years now. I know, I know. It should have been done by now, but my health always seemed to come first. And when I was home for 15 months while Ben was deployed, the dollhouse was stored in Texas. But I've been trying to get some things done. Ben is almost done with the roof, and I have most of the living room and kitchen papered. I have to buy some paper before I can finish that. I want to give it to some sick little girl.... I could always give it to my niece. Or I could donate it to a hospital or something like that.

I decided to add  Google AdSense just in case I get enough people looking at my site. It can't hurt to try. :-) Well, I have a username for Etsy now, but I haven't uploaded anything yet. I couldn't think straight to even figure it out.

I have to work on my story tomorrow. It's my last story for school. I can't believe I'm almost done! It's like wow, I've done 2 writing courses, and an art course - Art Instruction Schools. I couldn't go to college, but I didn't let that stop me from learning. :-)

I've been reading John Bunyan because I just became a reviewer of books. Publishers send me books for free as long as I review them on one of my blogs, Amazon or Christianbook, and send an e-mail to them. I didn't even know you could do that! Is that me or what?! I'm a huge book lover. I collect them and read as many as I can. Books have always been my friends. :-)

Oh, man I'm tired..........

Wishing

Ben and I decided to just go away for a night. We watched Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I liked it. It was different. Kinda boring in some parts but overall a good movie. It had some really funny moments.

Today we went to T.J.I. Fridays. They didn't have Diet Pepsi or Diet Dr. Pepper so I had to stick with hot tea. I hate how I can't have Diet Coke. It makes me hurt so bad! It tastes bad, too, but anyway, I just wish I could eat with my husband in a restuarant. I wish we could have something together. I don't know. I have to pretend to not care sometimes. It's hard. I get sad that I can't eat with him. That we can't eat ice cream together. Or share a dessert at a restuarant. Or just eat try each others meal! I don't know. I want to be able to share those moments. Granted, God has given us other great memories. I shouldn't want more than I already have. I need to keep trusting. It's ok that I can't do everything I want. And who knows. Maybe one day they will come up with something to help me eat. I just wish everything in life wasn't set around food! It makes it difficult for me.

Imagine you went to a party. Your family and close friends know and understand that you can't eat much at all. You take out a piece of rice bread,  and as usual somebody will comment. I wish you could have what we eat. Or are you sure there isn't something we can give you. Or what's wrong with you. And I'm sure there are people who totally do not understand and think I'm obsessed about my weight. Or I'm exaggerating my symptoms. I feel like I always have to battle people's viewpoints. At restuarants I just say I have a stomach disease, but I can so see they do not get it even though they nod their head like they do. The worse ones are the ones who keep on asking if I could have this or that whenever they come back around. I know they are just trying to help. I know most people would be different if they understood. It's a silent battle. Nobody knows how much pain we are in physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

But that brings me to the fact that ALL of us have problems we deal with. Silent pains that hurt too much to talk about. Pain that feels like a vise is around your chest. Pain that feels like it will never end. Pain that makes you despair. But when we feel all that, we need to remember who God really is.God is not a God of despair. God is hope. We are not alone! Remember that! Never forget it! God has not abandoned us. He is still holding us in the palm of His hand. He is upholding us with the right hand of His righteousness. Sure life is full of pain, but it's also filled with so much JOY. Life is worth living. We have to forget being so self-absorbed into our own problems. We need to reach out to others and help them through their pain. God can use us even though we are sick. And remember, prayer is important and powerful. Don't feel like prayer isn't enough. It is! And you can write encouraging e-mails or letters. There is so much we can do.

Ok, my rant is over. ;-)

Bad Night

Last night was horrible. I've been having worse nausea and pain for the past couple of weeks, but it was debilitating yesterday.  I was extremely dizzy, had a bad headache, and had a lot of pain. I took some Phenergan and lay down in bed propped up so that I was sitting upright. My husband was playing with my brother online (Wii). My brother finally had Mario Kart again and wanted to play so I didn't want Ben to know how sick I felt. Ben hardly plays anymore. He just works. He needed a break. So I called my sister in heart. :-) She immediately was there for me. I asked her to pray, and then she quickly moved on to other topics to take my mind off of everything. She's the sweetest sis ever. By the end of the conversation, I did feel better.

But I still couldn't go to sleep b/c I couldn't lay down at all. Even on my side. So I watched HGTV and eventually got tired enough from the Phenergan and Benadryl to sleep. Blissful sleep.... :-)

So my friend and I talked about getting together this summer. We want to go to Amish country - Lancaster!!! We are hoping and praying it will work out. Man, it would be awesome. It will be the first time that we would totally be alone on vacation. It will be great! Girl time! :-D We still have to figure out the logistics with my power chair and taking my manual or even just renting a manual there. We'll see. We'll hope big while we wait. lol

Ok so on the agenda today: get my meds at the pharmacy. Everybody groan with me now. Fort Hood has the worst pharmacy ever! You wait at least 2 hours just to get the meds. Plus, it's really crowded and loud. We also need to go to the Tricare office. The fun stuff: I need to go to Hobby Lobby!!! YES! *fist pump*

God gives me so many things to be thankful for. My dog is def one of them! She makes life fun! And we all need fun. ;-) I guess I need to get going so I can get this day started.

To Do List

On the agenda today: BANNERS! I need to cut them, get them soaked, flatten them, and smooth all the wrinkles out. Yuck. I also want to draw out my spring banner b/c it feels like spring over here!!! Yay! That's basically what I want to accomplish today. My hubs is at the range so I won't be seeing him for lunch, and I don't know when he will get home tonight. So I might as well get busy. Oh, I decided my name for Etsy! Megan, my sister-in-law, figured out several.  One of hers was definitely my favorite. :-) I'm so excited! I'm going to try to figure out Etsy tonight when Ben gets home. This is so scary. I have to keep track of so much stuff for tax purposes. Yikes! But I really think this is an answer to prayer. Besides if for some reason I need to stop I can. Simple as that. :-)

My allergies have been killing me for the last week. It gets worse during and after I walk Kaylee. So the evenings are miserable. Last night I was so tired I couldn't do anything so I just went to bed at 9:30.

Oh, therapy went well yesterday. I walked 2x across the pool, and one time backwards. I did my exercises, too. I couldn't do as much as I normally would b/c I took the HOP. I go again tomorrow.

Turner Classic Movies has some good movies on this morning. I'm having a hard time pulling away to do my work. lol I LoVe old movies! Soon there is going to be a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers marathon. They are going to show ALL of their movies! Woo hoo! Except I'll probably forget or Ben and I will be at the store or something will happen. :-D

Ok, off to work. :-)

Etsy???

I was looking on Etsy, and the more I looked the more nervous and scared I got! It looks so daunting. What  if I can't do it? What if I get sick and can't fulfill my responsibilities to the buyers. I really want to do this, but at the same time I have to look at this realistically. What would I do if I'm in the hospital? I mean c'mon, most hospitals don't have Wi-Fi in the room! I don't want my health to stop me, to hold me back, to win. I want to live and by living work and accomplish my dreams. I know I can't work a 9-5 job. I can't even drive and most mornings I'm so exhausted I can't get up early. But I want to do something. I need to do something. It's hard to just sit back and feel like life is flying by me b/c of my health chaining me down. I want to earn money at home. I won't let my health win! I won't......

I would have to get one of those weighing machines from the post office so I could schedule a pick up any time I need it. That way I won't have to worry about Ben being able to do it or not. Why why why does the post office close at 5 when everybody knows everybody else can't get off till then. They need different hours. I need this job to work. But then again what if I start this and can't even sell anything. What if my stuff is priced too high. It will have to be priced higher than a store b/c of all the time to custon make it for that person. Plus, I have to package and ship it. Oh, and I have to take a great pic of the product. Ack!!!!!

I need your help with this, God. Do You even want me to do this? I'll talk about it with Ben and see what he says. I know he doesn't mind me doing it, but I'm going to need his help.

I need to finish editing my story so I can send it out to a children's magazine tomorrow. I hope I can sell this one! My teacher said my other story is really sellable, and she wants me to send it out to some Christian magazines. Now I have to look them up and see which ones fit my story the best. :-)  

Ramblings

So it's been another one of those days. I am so tired and cold and don't have the energy to do anything. I'm hoping to edit my short story so that I can send it out to a magazine. I also need to work on my last assignment for school! I'm so excited! It's going to be a mystery. I've never written one for school. The only time I wrote a mystery was when I was kid. So we'll see how it goes....

I was trying to find info online about being infertile and about not having any periods. At least I know some possibilities now. :-) But I do have hope that I will have a kid now. My mom gave me hope. She is so sweet. She reminded me that nobody thought I would get married. And that when people found out I was getting married they were like, how is she going to manage it??? And look at me now. Married for 3 years. Sure the first couple of years was hard b/c of my health, but the last year hasn't been too bad. Except for the 3 surgeries. LOL But overall it's been a wonderful year. I've felt alive. My case manager encouraged me, too. God has given me the best case manager ever!!! She is awesome. I didn't even know case managers could be so kind.

The one thing I want to do today is get the new All You! I know. Such a great goal. :-D But I love that magazine. It has great coupons and tips and recipes. And did I say coupons!!! I love getting coupons. It's like a game to me to see how much I saved this time. The only annoying thing is that no grocery store over here does double coupons! You hear about all these coupon queens who save so much money by utilizing double coupon day. Well, I'm sorry, but not everybody accepts double coupons! In fact most don't! So there.... lol

I'm trying to figure out what name I should call myself on Etsy b/c I'm going to join them! Maybe I will be able to sell some banners and figurines and who knows what else. I'm excited. As soon I have my site up and running I will be sure to let you all know. :-)